Castles and Fangirls and Warlocks, Oh My!
by EmrysIsInTheTARDISWithSherlock
Summary: Two fangirls, their friends, a king and his manservant, two hunters and an angel, a consulting detective and his friend meet in said kings bed chambers. I wonder how the story will end? Starring Gwaine's hair, Blushing Angels, Badass Demons, an evil mastermind, a blue box and BATMAN, Eyebrows of DOOM and Exploding Ovaries... What could go wrong? Rated T for reasons
1. Prologue

**Hey guys! So I'm back for story number two and this ones a definate knee slapper (hopefully). Like always please read and review and i hope you enjoy the story!**

_**Prologue**_

"Oh,"  
"My"  
"God!" The two girls squealed loudly. They looked at each other excitedly, both of them barely holding in their excitement.  
"Shirts!" The dark headed one did a little jig on the spot.  
The brunette beamed and started dancing along with her. "On sale!"  
With very little dignity (not that they had much in the first place) Kiara and Olivia held their heads high and very loudly bellowed.  
"FOR THE LOVE OF CAMELOT!"  
And rushed into BBC store they had been gazing longingly at from a distance for the past hour, leaving very confused and slightly freaked out shoppers behind them.

Olivia and Kiara had been vacationing in England for the past two days, and will be continuing vacationing for the next month. They were both from Australia and had visited England when one of their friends had invited them over.

_"Hey guys!"  
Both girls smiled over the phone they were listening to. "Hey Ebbs! How's England?"  
Ebony had laughed and replied with a smile evident in her voice. "Rainy."  
The girls laughed. "Well you should know, we're very jealous."  
"Well not for much longer." There was a pause over the line and both girls sucked in a breath. "My Uncle has finally went completely 'round the bend and given us half of his fortune. Meaning about five hundred and fifty thousand dollars, or pounds, or whatever. Anyways, you are both coming to England!"_

_Olivia and Kiara had frozen, their breathing deep and eyes wide.  
"You aren't joking?" Kiara had rushed out.  
Olivia had nodded. "If you are, you can look forward to being gutted by my personal gutterer."  
"No I'm not joking! But if you send a crazed ninja gutterer after me, then I might have to change my mind." Ebbs had said.  
Kiara and Olivia looked at each other and screamed. "WE'RE GOING TO ENGLAND!"  
"Great." Ebbs shouted over the shrill screaming coming through the line. "So I'm going to say goodbye before you turn me deaf."  
Both girls didn't notice she had hung up until five minutes later when they were asked to 'shut the hell up so my hospital bill doesn't have to include hearing aids'. Aren't old people the best?_

So that was how Olivia and Kiara had ended up buying frankly the most adorable Merlin and Arthur shirts that were in existence. Olivia had walked out of the store wearing a royal red shirt with a cartoon of 'Prince Prat' on the front and Kiara had strode out like nobody's business wearing a blue shirt with a cartoon of the 'Clotpole Warlock' splashed across the front. They were very serious about their fandoms (it was a very, very serious business after all) and had agreed on characters for each other. Olivia was Arthur and Kiara was Merlin.

(There was also a wide range of other characters from their other fandoms. Such as Bones, Castle, Sherlock, Doctor Who, How I met Your Mother and the little green aliens out of Toy Story.)

They had gotten back to the house, both gleeful and incredibly proud of their shirts when Ebony had come across them.

Ebony had bleach blonde hair (dyed obviously but it was all the hairdressers fault) and pale blue eyes. She had a nose piercing and two lip ones and very sparkly eye shadow. (Olivia and Kiara both agreed that the sparkliness of it could rival the unicorns.)

"Oh for the love of god. You did not buy _shirts_!" She said, eating a crumpet.  
They both looked at her, scandalized, as if muttering such words would kill the queen and her corgis. Olivia gasped out. "Of course we had to buy shirts!"  
"They were in the store window! They were practically begging us to take them. They were obviously miserable in that shop." Kiara nodded.  
"And we didn't want to leave such adorable things in misery!" Olivia patted her hand on Kiara's shoulder. "We did the shirts a favour."

Ebony glanced at each of them, torn between either shredding the shirts or sending the 'Shirt-Savers' to a mental asylum. She mentally crossed out both options as the first would most definitely result in her grisly death and the second would probably result in her being sent to a mental asylum as well. She was actually pretty much a psycho but a less showy and more 'I'm-Actually-Not-On-Drugs-It's-Just-Me' one.

"You two are hopeless." And she walked past them and out the front door.

Kiara and Olivia (after much shirt saving tactics and options for therapy sessions if the shirts had been abused at their previous home) decided to watch the fourth series of _Merlin _in the theatre room and so they prepared popcorn and created a legendary blanket fort of epic proportions. They popped in the first disc and were chattering quietly until the familiar saying _'In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a great man. His name? Merlin' _filled the room. They got to the death of Uther before both of them were sleeping and snuggling further under the blankets, their quiet snores could barely be heard over the epic sassiness of Old Merlin on screen.

Their dreams filled with castles, magic and Gwaine's Pantene worthy hair.

**Hope you guys liked it and please R&R!**


	2. Sputtering Kings Are a Rare Sight Indeed

**Hey Guys! So chapter one is up! Hope you enjoy! Please R&R and tell me what you think!**

_**Sputtering Kings Are a Rare Sight Indeed**_

Kiara had woken up from the sunlight that was currently streaming through her closed eyelids. She jammed her eyes shut and flipped over. "EBONY! Turn this stupid light off you Waker-Upper!" She then sighed when she heard no response. "EBONY?!"  
She was about to bury her head in her pillow when she noticed how uncomfortable she currently was. She was certain that Ebony's theatre room never felt like a stack of hay and more like a King's bed (even if it was just the carpet). She wriggled and was aware of how scratchy the (_unusually thin_) blanket was. She was just starting to believe she had been kidnapped by slave selling ninjas in the middle of the night when she heard voices. _Impossibly recognisable _voices.

"Who is she?" An old, crackly voice whispered. "When did she get here?"  
A younger and more frantic voice answered. "I don't know! I got back from cleaning Arthur's chambers and there she was!" There was a pause and the sound of feet shuffling. "I didn't do it!"  
It was at that particular moment when the young man's earlier words sunk in.  
_Arthur's chambers.  
Arthur.  
Chambers.  
Chambers.  
Arthur.  
ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS!_

Kiara then bolted upright, flipping out of the small bed in the process. She hit the ground with a thud and quickly found her feet. She glanced at the room around her. Particular vases and bottle occupied the small window-sill and lying on top of the wooden table stood a thick book riddled with marvellous and beautiful pictures and symbols. It looked magnificent, not like something that could get you burned at the stake.

"No." She stated loudly. "No, no, no, no! Nope! Uh, uh. Not happening." She whirled around to find to very startled and inquisitive faces looking directly at her. One with an eyebrow in danger in getting caught in his silvery hair and the other with cheekbones that could rival the sharpness of glass. Kiara took one step forwards watching them watching her. "No! Not happening! I'm dreaming! Not real!" She shut hers eyes and pinched her arms. Nothing happened. "Go away! I'm not crazy! Not yet! I've lasted this long! Not happening! No, no, no, no!"  
There as a cough and she opened her brown eyes. Both men were looking at her strangely.  
The older one opened his mouth to speak. "Umm. May we inquire as to whom you are, madam?"  
"Huh?" She walked over to them only a step away. "Well I'm outta my mind right now. You however aren't real."  
They just both looked at each other at her remark and the younger one replied. "No madam. We are both most definitely real. I'm-"  
"Merlin and you are Gaius!" She exasperated, ignoring their surprised gazes. "And I'm Kiara and that over there is Merlin's magic book. Can we stop pointing out the obvious and just focus on the fact that you're here!"  
Merlin's wide eyes and Gaius's nervous shifting had Kiara going back on what she said. Merlin stuttered out.  
"You know about-"  
"The magic?" She nodded. "Yes. I'm sorry for scaring you like that, it's just that I seem to be stuck inside my head and talking to my hallucinations, so I feel a bit strange right now."  
Gaius and Merlin glanced at each other and looked back at her. "I don't know who you are or where you came from but I can see that you are confused and by the way that you are dressed. . ." Kiara looked down at her Merlin shirt and green dragon boxers at Merlin's statement. "I believe that you weren't planning this."  
Kiara nodded and glanced around the room. "Oh I most definitely was not planning this."

There was a lull in the conversation before Gaius took her arm and guided her to the wooden (and very dodgy) table. "Why don't you explain to us what happened."  
Kiara just opened her mouth to speak when a very loud and very angry voice bellowed from above.  
"GUARDS!"  
Merlin was gone in an instant, the time it took Kiara to realise whose voice it was. "Arthur?"  
Gaius looked at her strangely and nodded.  
"I'm going to go see what happened. This is my own hallucination after all."

And that is how Kiara had found herself running around the castle, following a flash of blue and red. Merlin came to a halt at two large oak doors tried to barge down the door. She came up beside him and inspected the door.  
He jumped a little and whispered quietly. "What are you doing here?"  
She shrugged. "I wanted to see Prince (or maybe King) Prat in person." She paused and whirled on Merlin. She murmured quietly "Why don't you use magic?"  
Merlin gaped a little a glanced around him. "There are guards at either corner and two right next to us, trying to get in."  
"Oh! I didn't notice. If all you wanted was a distraction then you just had to ask." She whirled around and yelled at the top of her lungs. "SORCERER! THE SORCERER IS ESCAPING!"

Every single dim-witted guard turned to where she was pointing and cased after the distraction. She turned to Merlin. "See? Now magic this door! Quick march!"  
Merlin turned to the door and whispered 'Tosprenge' and with a quick flash of gold, it was unlocked.  
"That was so aweso-" Her words died in her throat when they crashed into the chambers and came face to face with a shirtless Arthur holding a sword to the throat of a small girl with dark hair and bright blue eyes. "Livvy?"  
Both all three parties turned towards her and Olivia smiled. "Kiara!" She made to move but Arthur whipped his sword back to place.  
"Who are you both?! What are you doing here?! Why are you dressed so strangely?!" Arthur demanded then turning to Merlin. "Who are they _Mer_lin?! What have you done!?"  
Merlin turned towards Arthur, shock across his features. "And I did this how?"  
Arthur let his arm drop and took a step towards Merlin. "You always seem to get us stuck in the most deadly of sitiuations."  
Merlin folded his arms across his chest. "No that's you and your habit of running into danger more times than I blink."  
Athur's witty retort was drowned out by the giggles coming from either side of them. "They're so cute!" Kiara said.  
Olivia nodded. "And they're the best of friends!"  
Arthur and Merlin turned towards the intruders. "We are most certainly not cute!" Merlin nodded with him.  
Both girls squealed and jumped up and down. "Aren't they just adorable!"  
Arthur sputtered indignantly while Merlin looked between the girls in shock.  
"Both of you! Over by the window now!" Arthur ordered.  
Both strangers nodded and strode over to the window. Olivia turned to Kiara. "So what's your theory?"  
Kiara chuckled. "At first I thought kidnapping by crazed ninjas-"  
"Naturally."  
"And then I decided upon very real hallucination."  
Olivia smiled and nodded. "Same conclusion I came to. Good deduction Sherlock."  
"It's elementary, Watson."

Both girls then looked towards the King and his Warlock, both of them listening to their conversation with growing confusion.  
"Who are you!?" Arthur stepped forward. "And what business do you have in Camelot?"  
They both sighed and Olivia stepped forward. "If our minds want us to play this game then we will." She took a deep breath. "Ok so I'm Olivia, and I come from the future." At their confused glances she elaborated. "The future is a place that is many thousands of years from now. The places and people of this time are a lot different from now and I can't be bothered to explain further."  
Kiara continued. "I'm Kiara. So basically we come from a time when you guys aren't real, you are a type of moving picture called a T.V show and you two are played by actors. The show follows Merlin and Arthur through their journey throughout ten years. It talks about tragedy, secrets, lies, betrayel and for some reason I feel as though I'm advertising The Bold and Beautiful."  
Olivia chuckled. "Very….Dramatic."  
"Aren't I." Kiara gazed out in the distance in a very accurate and dramatic way.  
"Impossible!" Arthur snapped, raising his sword.

"Okay we can prove it!" Kiara held her hands up in surrender. "I know that Merlin was sent to Camelot by his mother and he first met Arthur when he was throwing daggers at a serving boy."  
Olivia continued. "This resulted in Merlin being thrown in the dungeons but it wasn't the end of your commaderie. You met twice after, first when Arthur beat Merlin with a broom and the second being when Merlin saved Arthur's life."  
"And at first you hated each other but then Arthur became less of a prat and Merlin became more mature. You guys began bonding and now each of you would risk your life for the other without question."  
"Anyone could know that! It is still sorcery! Everyone in the kingdom knows Merlin and I are friends."  
Kiara sighed and then looked at Merlin. "Okay I have something else." She took a deep breath. "Okay. What about the heirloom?" At their confused looks Kiara ploughed on. "During Morgana's last take to the throne, Arthur had given you, Merlin, his mother's medallion."  
Arthur suddenly became shifty and uncomfortable. "Umm-well-there was-it is to say-"  
Olivia stepped forward. "See! No one would know that!" She paused and smirked. "But it was so ADORABLE and I can't believe they cut it!"  
Kiara turned, suddenly ignoring Arthur and Merlin. "I KNOW RIGHT! It showed their wonderful Bromance amazingly!"

Arthur was at a loss for words as the two girls chittered on about 'how the writers are uncreative dickheads who don't know a good scene if it came and punched them in the face'. He looked at Merlin and felt his spirit rise at his obvious confusion. (So it wasn't just him).  
"So I take it that you came here through sorcery." Arthur sneered, snatching the girls attention once again. "I believe you know that such practises are band."  
Kiara stepped forward. "A many a battle you have won from the likes of the mysterious and untameable-ness that is witchcraft. You may do well to consider its ability to do more than create madness."  
At Arthur's confused look Olivia stepped forward. "She means that we have no idea whatsoever of how we got here."  
"Egzactly!" Kiara nodded with a pointed finger. "Wait wha-"  
"Never mind that! I am the king of Camelot and you will tell me what business you have here or I shall send you to the dungeons." Arthur scowled.  
"Can I just point something out?" Kiara ventured.  
Olivia facepalmed. "No. No you cannot. You'll get us executed."  
"You wound me. You know I am smarter than all of you in this room? I can't expect you-"  
"Okay! You can stop Sherlocking all over the place. You're giving me Reichenbach feels." Olivia sobbed.  
Kiara immediately rushed to her friend's side. "I know Livvy, let it out. You can blame Moffat, just blame Moffat."  
Olivia breathed deep and resolved. "I, Olivia Brunton, will forever and ever blame Moffat for the constant feel-bashing that Fangirls receive. Amen."  
Kiara padded her back. "Touché."

Both girls turned to their hosts to find them staring at them, jaws dropped and eyes wide in confusion. Arthur sputtered while Merlin just looked back and forth between us.  
"I think. ." Merlin started. "I think they are suffering from a grave disease-"  
"A grave, **grave, ****_grave _**disease." Olivia put in.  
"-And it makes then insane and not really a threat to us. I mean look at them."

Arthur looked at the girls first sobbing about something called 'Moffat' and 'Deduction' then started giggling at something called 'slash' and he agreed whole heartedly.  
"So why are you dressed so strangely?" Merlin inquired. Arthur admitted he was also curious as to why the young girls were wearing such loose shifts and short and colourful breeches.  
Both girls stopped giggling and turned to the prince and warlock.  
Olivia shrugged. "These clothes are our Pj's. It's what we wear when we go to sleep."  
"In our world it is normal for girls to wear such things, especially in Australia where it's hot like a sauna of a night." Kiara muttered darkly.  
Merlin hummed in confusion but carried on. "So the women of your day do not have to wear dresses?"  
Kiara shook her head. "No, we don't have to. Personally I just stay in my night clothes all day."  
Merlin gaped and Olivia grinned.  
Arthur stepped forward and peered at the shirts. "What does these pictures and words symbolise."

"My shirt is Pendragon red-" Arthur gaped. "And this is a cartoon of the man himself, King Prat!"

Kiara and Olivia made trumpet noises.

Merlin and Arthur choked simultaneously.

(They then needed some intense 'Whack-On-The-Back' action.)

After Merlin recovered from is near-death experience, he managed to sputter out a strangled. "So I'm guessing your shirt is the same?"  
Kiara shook her head. "Nup! Mine is a cartoon of the gorgeous, yet humble, Clotpole War-"  
Olivia very pointedly squished Kiara's toes to a pulp. "Manservant! It says Clotpole Manservant!"  
Kiara caught her drift and smoothly covered up her slip up. "It most certainly does say Manservant. Nothing incriminating on this shirt. Uther won't hang no-one due to this shirt! Nah uh!"  
Olivia face palmed. Again. "Smooth Kiara."  
"Thankyou!"

The girls turned to see a gaping Merlin and Arthur. Only difference being Merlin's cheeks were tinged a rosy pink.  
"Umm, what did you just-" Merlin started.  
Arthur interrupted barely able to conceal his shock. "Gorgeous?! Merlin's not-I mean-how would you-he's just _Mer_lin!"  
Kiara back tracked through what she just said. "Oh! You're talking about when I called him gorgeous!"  
Arthur and Merlin nodded frantically.  
"Well he is!" Kiara flailed in Merlin's direction. "Look at him! He's tall, lean, has the most amazing eyes and his cheekbones are just- ughh I can't even find words! I mean just look at his face!" To prove it, Kiara grabbed his chin and shook his face a little. "He has the best voice, all deep and awesome and Irish."  
Merlin jumped out of her grasp and maybe hid behind Arthur. Maybe. "What's Irish?"  
Olivia stepped in. "She won't be talking for the next ten minutes. And don't worry about the Irish thing, she's just talking about Colin." At their confused glances, she shook her head. "I am not explaining, I am too young for this."  
Arthur rounded on Olivia. "So your friend does find Merlin attractive?"  
"Yep! Extremely so." She giggled at Merlin's uncomfortable shifting. "Along with half of the British population. Both female and sometimes probably male."  
Both of them blanched at her words. "But-"  
She held up her hand. "Don't even. Kiara will never stop laughing her arse off at the irony if **you two **asked. "  
They held up their hands just as Kiara returned to the conversation. "What were you guys chatting about?"  
"Baseball."  
"Jousting."  
"Dresses."

They all stopped and looked at Merlin, suspicion in their eyes.  
"What? It was the first thing that popped into my head!"

Arthur thwacked him on the head, not noticing the girl's giggling fest. "You are such a _girl _Merlin!"  
"I am not!" Merlin sputtered. "I'm pretty sure women aren't supposed to have- you know-" he waved his hands awkwardly.  
"Bits?" Olivia suggested, failing to hide a smile.  
Arthur and Merlin were suddenly very interested in the floor as a royal flush rose to their cheeks.  
Kiara burst out laughing. "Oh, the irony!"  
Olivia soon followed. "Iron has nothing on this irony!"  
"What does that even mean?!" Kiara cackled loudly.  
Olivia shrugged, gasping for air. "I don't even know!"

To Arthur and Merlin's confusion (they seemed to be a lot confused today) they both turned on them and yelled.  
"MORNING MERLIN FANS! TODAY. . . PARK ASTRIX!"

Arthur decided he needed a chair.  
Merlin looked like a star struck whale.  
Kiara and Olivia were singing _'je ne quoi pas pas je sais anglais! Hey Hey!_

What?


	3. Heroic Husbands and Dust Spiders

**Chapter Two**

Merlin, Arthur, Olivia and Kiara were huddled inside Gaius's chambers, searching through thousands of books trying to find a way to send the future dwellers back home.  
"You know," Olivia sighed. "I have a new respect for Gaius, it takes a lot of patience to ruffle through these books every week."  
Kiara groaned and thudded her head to the table in frustration. "You said it Liv."  
"Haven't found anything yet!" Merlin popped up from a mountain of books (seriously Everest had nothing on it) . His hair was spiked up in every which direction and his clothes had been dishevelled and messed.  
Kiara was staring. "Oh god. I think my ovaries just imploded."  
Arthur popped up behind him, his eyes a shining blue and his hair windswept and halo-y.  
Olivia stared. "And there go mine."

Kiara and Olivia stared at Merlin and Arthur. Arthur and Merlin stared at them. Gaius was staring at a book.  
There was a lot of staring involved.

Arthur shook his head and glared at the girls. "I don't like this."  
"We do!" Both girls sing-songed.  
Gaius straightened, frowning. "I'm afraid Sire, there is nothing in my books that can shed light on-"  
The girls insane chuckling interrupted his very serious explanation.  
"Be careful Gaius!" Kiara burst out.  
Olivia thumped the table with her hand. "I think you've got something caught in your hair!"  
Gaius reached up and combed through his hair. "Thank you."  
They shook their heads. "I'm surprised it hasn't got caught sooner." Olivia muttered.  
"What?!" Gaius asked.  
The girls looked at each other and bellowed out. "THE EYEBROW OF DOOM!"  
Arthur, Merlin and Gaius just stared and they were about to say something when an ear wrenching scream cut them off.

Arthur jumped to his feet immediately. "GUINEVERE!" And rushed out the wooden door.  
Merlin was right behind him.

Olivia and Kiara stood up and stretched and wandered off after the boys, leaving Gaius very confused.

The girls followed the constant "GUINEVERE," that echoed through the castle, quietly murmuring about the quest of the week when they found Arthur violently abusing a wooden door.  
Olivia poked him. "What is it? Why aren't you heroically barging through door before sweeping the Queen off her feet and gallantly prancing off into the sunset?"  
Arthur gave her a strange look before shaking his head. "The door won't open and Guinevere hasn't answered her name."

Kiara tugged Merlin's neckerchief and pointed towards the door, silently asking the question.  
Merlin gaped and and shook his head, lowering his voice. "Arthur is _**right there**_! I'm not suicidal."  
She huffed and looked at Olivia, who looked back in understanding and they both smiled cunningly.

Kiara winked and Olivia reared up and launched herself at Arthur screaming.

"IT'S A SPIDER! A BLOODY SPIDER IS ATTACKING! IT WILL EAT ALL OF US!"

Let's just say that Arthur didn't take it too well. He tried to throw her off but Olivia clung on still screaming about giant spiders that will eat their faces and feed them to their giant spider kids.

Kiara threw Merlin at the door (why the hell was he so light?) and pointedly stared at the door, ignoring the ruckus behind.  
"Do it or I'll stab you with carrots." She said in an unbelievably monotone voice.  
Merlin sighed and quickly muttered and spell and the door swung open. "Arthur! It's open!"

Olivia immediately jumped off his back wiping her hands and shrugging at Arthur's glare. "Whoops! Must've mistaken that piece of dirt. Huh, I was sure it was a spider."  
Kiara giggled and strode into the room after the prince and warlock.

Kiara and Olivia choked on air when they came face to face with Queen Guinevere holding a candlestick towards to unbelievably recognisable faces.

"What the fuck did you two do?" The short blue haired girl whispered.  
The taller curly head one stared between all six figures. "What the hell is going on?"  
Olivia and Kiara beamed and raced to throw their arms around the girls. "ADRIAN! GINNY!"  
Gwen turned with a questioning look to Arthur and Merlin. "Arthur? Merlin? What's going on and. . . . who are they?"  
She turned to the four girls, all dressed in strange clothes with two of them smiling a bit creepily and the others stared, mouths agape.

What did her husband do this time?


	4. And How Did You Get Here?

**CHAPTER THREE**

"So you're telling me that these girls have travelled from the future, a place many a time away, without meaning to or knowing why they're here." Gwen stated somewhat unhappily. "That seems kind of-"

"Weird?" Kiara jumped in.  
"Strange?" Olivia corrected.  
"BATSHIT INSANE!" Ginny and Adrian shouted, turning their death defying glares on the giggling girls.  
"THIS IS AMAZING!" Olivia and Kiara screamed together, squeezing the life out of Ginny and Adrian.  
Kiara stopped and suddenly narrowed her eyes. "Wait a second!" They all looked at her. "How did you even get here?"  
"Yeah!" Olivia suddenly agreed, jumping over to Kiara's side. "How did you-?"  
"How are we supposed to know!?" Adrian yelled. "We don't even know what the fuck is going on! I mean we're in CAMELOT!"  
Both the girls stared at Adrian and Ginny with conviction.  
"Why are you staring at us like that?" Ginny rolled her eyes.  
"We're staring at you." Kiara says darkly.  
Olivia adds. "With conviction."

There is a pregnant pause.

"Arthur?" Gwen asks a bit frightful. "What-"  
Arthur huffed and glared at the wall. "Don't ask me. I don't even want to know what's going on."  
Kiara and Olivia suddenly smiled and skipped over to said king.  
"That is because you are an oblivious prat!" Livvy sing-songed.  
Kiara caught on. "And we're too great to understand!"  
"KIARA AND OLIVIA!"  
"HUH?!"  
Ginny and Adrian took a very, _very _deep breath.  
"Now answer us truthfully. Did you or did you not slip something into our juice." Ginny pointed at them threatening. It was a very threatening point, Kiara and Olivia thought.  
"Yeah." Adrian nodded. "It's either you two have finally turned into psychopaths, and if so you owe me ten bucks Ginny, or we have all landed in a psychiatric hospital and we have ALL lost our mind."  
"Which," Ginny adds. "I wasn't planning on doing until like fifty-sixty years old!"  
Kiara stepped forward and raised her hands. "Calm your tits! We haven't turned into psychopaths, an even so, the correct term would be high func-"  
"GET ON WITH IT!"  
"OKAY! We have no idea what's going on. One minute we were asleep and dreaming of Gwaine and the next I wake up in Merlin's bed and find Livvy being harassed by King Prat and his sword."

The following silence proceeded to be extremely awkward.

Ginny face-palmed and Adrian looked dumbly from Kiara to Olivia. "But how did we get here?"  
She looked over to Ginny hoping to god they didn't start watching Merlin in a state of crazy.  
Ginny's eyes suddenly lit up and smiled. "I remember."  
Kiara rolled her eyes. "I bloody well-"  
"Please shut your face." Adrian willed.  
Ginny turned to Adrian. "Remember? We were walking. . . ."

**REWIND**

"-see those two weirdos by that BBC shop?" Adrian asked. "Complete coo koo!"  
Ginny laughed and nodded. "Yeah bro. Scared the shit out of me."  
Adrian laughed and thumped her on the shoulder. "They looked sort of familiar. Did you recognise them?"  
Ginny giggled and then froze. "No fucking way." She looked back and face palmed.  
"What?!" Adrian looked back down the street they came from. "Who was it?"  
She sighed dramatically. "Who do we know who is completely obsessed with BBC shows and holds no restraints when said shows are in public."  
Adrian thought and then almost choked on the realisation. "Fuck no." They both started howling with laughter. "Shit, they're gonna get arrested one day. They gonna-"

A strange noise suddenly interrupted her words. Adrian paused and rose her hand to silence Ginny's sudden question. She strained her ears and tried to put where she had heard the noise before. It was a sort of sucking sound but so much more-HOLY SHIT THE TARDIS.

Adrian stared dumbly where the slight outline of a blue box became visible. Ginny turned to look and froze as well. It became clearer and clearer until it was a solid box and the noise had stopped. Both girls glanced at each other and suddenly took off towards the blue police box.

Adrian was heaving as she ran and Ginny's strangled sentences caught her ears.

"But-isn't that that blue box off Doctor Who?" She heaved.

They both skidded to a halt (Adrian skilfully covered up the massive slip she performed) in front of the blue doors. They touched it.  
"Holy fucking shit balls it's solid." Adrian gasped and ran her hand down the side.  
Ginny walked around examining it. "Is this actually real or- HOLY FUCKING JESUS ITS BATMAN!"  
Adrian leapt to the side Ginny was staring dumbly at. "What is-HOLY JESUS IT _**IS **_BATMAN!"

And there, painted on the back side of the TARDIS was, clear as day, the batman logo.

They looked at each other before racing around to the front.  
Ginny looked at Adrian. "Isn't it supposed to be like bigger on the inside or something?"  
Adrian beamed. "So you've listened to mine and Kiara's constant chatter about it?"  
Ginny laughed. "No. You just never stop talking about it. Which annoys the hell outta me by the way."  
Adrian laughed and then fell silent, Ginny quiet next to her.  
They both gave each other a look and Adrian raised her hand to knock when the door was violently pulled open.  
"Hello!"

Adrian stared at the man in the blue suit and brown coat, Ginny stared at Adrian staring at the guy in the blue box.

Adrian then proceeded to tackle him back inside the TARDIS which was- HOLY FUCK ITS BIGGER ON THE INSIDE!

"WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!" A voice interrupted Ginny's tale. "Are you honestly telling me, that you found the _TARDIS_ with a _BATMAN _logo on the side while the Doctor stepped out and said _hello?_" She gave them a look. "You guys have gone loopy."  
Both girls attempted a protest because '_There is no way those psychopaths' get to call us loopy with a straight face and all intention of truth,' _when they was a loud crash and an even louder string of quite imaginable curses.

Arthur, Merlin and Gwen all whipped their heads towards the sound, not paying attention to the glaring contest going on in front of them.  
"What the hell was that!" Arthur shouted and leapt from the room, sword drawn.  
Merlin rolled his eyes, offered the strangers a quick smile and dashed off after the plundering King, a murmur of, "Twice the excitement and only noon. Yay."

Gwen was pretty sure it was sarcasm.

She looked to the death glaring girls and coughed lightly. "Hehem." They all turned to look at her. "Something else has just crash landed and I think it would be wise-"  
"DAMMIT CAS!" A loud, deep and very _American _reached Kiara's ears and she screamed. Adrian was pretty sure it was high enough to reach dog pitch scale or. . .whatever.

"DEEAAANNN!" She screeched and barged through the open door.

Kiara was running (which was an effort in itself) and following the loud ruckus that was just beyond her reach. The whole time the only thought running through her head was. . .

HOLY JESUS DEAN IS WITHIN FIFTY METRES OF MY PERSON AND CAS IS ALSO HERE AND DEAN AND CAS AND MAYBE SAMMY AND CAS'S SEXUAL VOICE AND DID SHE MENTION DEAN!?

Her thoughts screeched to a stop when she came face to face with the large stone steps that led up to where a cursing Dean would be found.  
She narrowed her eyes. "We meet again stairs."  
The stairs said nothing. Wusses.  
With a war cry Tarzan would be proud of she pounded up the stairs, fist held high in the air and a crazy look in her eye.

(When she eventually did struggle to the top, heaving for breath and crawling on all fours, she counted it as a win.)

"Calm down Dean." A low gravelly voice cut into Kiara's death of exercise.  
Her head snapped up to see three figures at the end of the hall. One was a giant with wavy hair, the other a shorter (but not too short) amazingly-built man wearing a brown leather jacket, and the last was wearing a light brown trench coat and was as stiff as a statue.

Kiara gasped dramatically and jumped to her feet. "HOLY MARY MOTHER OF JOSEPH! THEY HAVE COME!"  
(The part of her mind that was constantly in the gutter snickered at her words).  
All three figures whirled around, cutting off their conversation, and their eyes comically widened.

"CAS?" Dean yelled as she got closer to them.  
Cas shrugged and replied in a monotone. "I don't see a threat."

Another loud voice stopped Kiara in her tracks.

"Kiara?"  
"Brit?"  
"Kiara!"  
"Brit!"  
Another voice then joined.  
"Brit?"

"Regina?"

"Kiara?"

"Megan!?"

"Megan!"

"Adrian?"

"Brit?"

"Is that-"

"Dean."

"Dean?"

"DEAN!"

"Megan!"

"EVERYBODY SHUT YOUR CAKEHOLES MY HEAD HURTS!"

. . .

. . .

. . .

"_Megan?_"

"Livvy?!"

"WHAT DID YOU DO!"

"Ebony?!"

"KIARA!"

Everybody turned towards Natasha, who had just ran from the library, with wide eyes and mouths open.

"_**TASH!?"**_


	5. Welcome to AwkwardVille

**CHAPTER FOUR**

"Well. . ." Merlin awkwardly coughed eyeing a very disgruntled Arthur.  
"Well." The king ground out.

Merlin turned back to the, what could've been, weirdest group in history to ever cross those castle grounds and raised his eyebrows. There was the two girls who had arrived this morning plus the other two who arrived like five minutes ago (He's pretty sure their names are like Brat and Magen? Maybe? Not?) alternating their staring between himself, Arthur and the other three strangely dressed men who looked much older than themselves. The two of the three men were eyeing every figure in the room with stony impressions while the other whose eyes almost matched Merlin's own just stood stiffly to one side.

Behind them were who he guessed was Ginny, Adrian, Ebony and Tash (and god did these people have weird names I mean, _Ginny?_ Arthur's name was weird enough) and they were all sort of huddled together glaring at Livvy and Kiara. Merlin came to the conclusion that everyone either hated or, in Merlin's case, was completely and utterly terrified of those two girls (ONE OF THEM PINCHED HIS CHEEKS! SCANDAL!).

One of the newly arrived men (the shorter one) huffed angrily and stood up making Merlin flinch back (What? He knew a dangerous man when he saw one) and Arthur grab the hilt of his sword (Of bloody course you dumb prat).

"Ok, so who the fuck wants to tell me WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!" He levelled a glare at Arthur who levelled an exact stony glare back.  
There was a stern voice that came from the long haired man. "Dean."  
"I do not have any clue as to why you're here, but I warn you not to raise your voice around these young girls and my wife." Arthur calmly threatened

Merlin wanted to punch Arthur in the face. Hard. Like boom-boom, suddenly-everythings-black-and-I-can't-endanger-my self-by-being-astupid-clotpole. Yes. He liked that idea.

The 'Dean' man stepped forward a snarl on his lips. "If I want to raise my voice, Imma fucking do it blondie!" Arthur's glare intensified as Dean smirked. "Who're supposed to be anyway? You look like a prissy version of King Arthur who hasn't hit puberty."  
Merlin wished he could've saved the look of confused anger on Arthur's face, but before he could retort the statue man stepped in between them.  
"Dean." His voice was deep and gravelly, almost like he swallowed a bunch of pebbles. (Merlin also noticed those four _crazy _girls in the middle clutch each other and began to quietly squeal to each other.)

"Dean this is not necessary." The ruffled man intoned.  
At Dean's look of incredulity the man raised his hand.  
"That, right there, is King Arthur of Camelot." He spoke in a monotone, gesturing to Arthur.

(Merlin noted smugly that Arthur's face was again consorted into confusion)

The green eyed man eyed him suspiciously. "Are you sure? I mean if he is _The _King Arthur, where is the old bearded guy?"  
At this statement Merlin noticed Kiara and Olivia freeze, their eyes widening comically.  
Arthur's sneering voice brought Merlin back to the conversation. "What old bearded guy?"

The man (Dean) seemed to struggle for words and then looked uselessly at the tall one. "Sammy? A little help? You would know, the guy with the magicky wizardry."  
Sam looked amusedly at his brother a replied with a smile evident in his voice. "You mean Mer-"

A sudden shriek and crash brought everyone's attention back to the group of huddled girls.

Kiara and Olivia had burst out of their place on the floor and were heaving heavily as they glared at everyone in the huddle.

"OKAY!" Olivia bellowed, capturing everyone's attention. "YOU ALL NEED TO LISTEN THE FUCK UP TO THIS CHICK OVER HERE! WE NEED TO EXPLIN A FEW THINGS!"  
Kiara nodded gratefully and smiled dangerously at everyone. "Okay so this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to explain what is going on here since me and Livvy are probably the biggest experts here." She took a deep breath. "Obviously we have landed in some sort of parallel universe where everything that is TV shows is real and each character has been bundled into Camelot for some reason."  
Olivia joined in. "Now, there are many things that certain characters do not need revealed or spoiled at the moment-" She levelled a deathly glare at Sam who sputtered indignantly.  
"But-"  
"SHUT IT MOOSE!" Kiara screamed and then smiled brightly at everyone else. "So what would be helpful is if no one mentioned any of the King Arthur legends or anything from their own time line because that will make everything so much better."

There was a pause when Olivia noted a reluctant hand raise up. "Yes Adrian?"  
"But this is a collection of your favourite shows so shouldn't certain people know certain things?"  
Kiara smiled sweetly and shook her head. "I know for certain that this isn't part of any of mine or Livvy's thoughts."  
Sam coughed and asked. "Why? How would you know?"

Kiara and Olivia shared a look.  
_Should we tell em?  
Might as well. To prove our innocence._

Kiara took a deep breathe a promptly announced with no dignity whatsoever. "Because Sam, if it were, your brother and that angel would probably be hashing out their sexual frustration in a more horizontal location if you catch my drift. Or you know, up against a wall or sink and we can't forget the Impala" The whole room blanched at her words. "Same with the King guy and his manservant." She added as an after thought.  
Arthur glanced between he girls and slowly asked. "I don't understand the way you're speaking-"  
"OK SO IF ANYONE DIDN'T GET WHAT KIARA WAS IMPLYING, SHE MEAN'T FUCKING EACH OTHERS BRAINS OUT! WE GOOD? OKAY GOOD!"

And that was how two seemingly harmless girls managed to get two hunters, an angel, a king and his manservant, and two fed up friends to blush magnificently red. (The other four were totally used to it. It was a daily occurrence).


	6. Okay, this is just ridiculous

**CHAPTER FIVE**

"I don't understand Dean," Castiel (Angel of the Lord apparently) gravelly told his companion. "Why would those two girls think we are involved sexually?"  
Dean groaned and dropped his head to the table in front of him. What the fuck is even his life anymore? Oh yeah, that's right, it's just one giant clusterfuck after another. Great. "I am not having this conversation. I did not ask for this."  
Sam was unashamedly giggling in the background. Bitch. "Yeah Dean, why would they think that?"

Fuck this shit. As soon as they get home, Dean is moving to the fucking moon, just so nobody can ever screw with him again. Sam can stay behind and save the world when the hypothetical shit hits the fan _again_.

He sighed angrily. He probably wouldn't get to a rocket before another crisis began. Fuck his life.

He glanced around the room they had all vacated to. According to _King-fucking-Arthur _(seriously when did this shit actually happen to real people. He's about to call bullshit on life) they were in the "Throne Room" (Or what Dean had dubbed "The Unnecessarily Huge-Ass Room for Stick-Up-Their-Arse Kings ((and said king's manservant who may or may not be fucking?))).

A loud cough interrupted his thoughts (there seemed to be a lot of that going around actually) and he glanced up to where all of the girls were standing at the end of the hall. Dean noted smugly that the Mightier-Than-Thou King and his Manservant were studiously avoiding each other's eyes, their cheeks probably permanently stained pink.

Dean's got to hand it to those girls, they can really do some awkward damage.

Wait, he's getting side tracked again.

"Listen up Bitchez!" The girl he vaguely remembered was Adrian. As all heads turned to her she coughed and nodded to herself. "Now we-and by 'we' I mean everyone but Kiara and Olivia- are extremely sorry for no doubt causing you permanent mental scars."  
Kiara and Olivia started booing. Nobody listened.  
A curly haired girl, (Sam reminded him her name was Ginny) started off. "We all actually have no idea how we each got here and have no idea how we might get back, so if anyone has any ideas please some forward."  
A small girl who had barely spoke to anyone stepped forward. "Well, umm my name's Tash and I actually think that the best option is to first get the story of how everyone got here in the first place."

There was a silence.

Then said silence was interrupted by Olivia yelling. "Stop being so smart!" And Kiara cackling madly afterwards.

Dean was about to agree (honestly he wasn't actually sure if there was a better option because he was really confused) when Arthur's servant stepped forward.

"Well I'm Merlin."

WHAT THE FUCK! WHERE'S HIS BEARD! HIS LIFE IS A LIE!

Dean turned to see Sam's 'this is so unexpected I might actually create a new face' face #2093 and knew for certain he wasn't the only one who was surprised.

"And I also just want to apologise for His Pratiness over here. He doesn't do well with strangers."  
"_Mer_lin. Don't make me send you to the stocks, _again_." Arthur sneered right back with practised ease.

Dean could definitely understand where those girls were coming from.

Adrian turned to Olivia and Kiara, who were standing side by side and whispering in each other's ears. "So, you two!" Their heads shot up at finally being acknowledged. "How did you get here?"  
Kiara shrugged her shoulders. "Me and Liv were just watching Merlin in Ebony's theatre-"  
"I thought I told you to not to poison my giant T.V. with that crap?"  
Kiara carried on, ignoring Ebony entirely. "And we fell asleep in our blanket fort and woke up here. That's it."

Brit carried on. "I was just chillin' on our couch and watching _Supernatural _when I randomly got sucked into the T.V."  
Ebony clicked her tongue. "I was walking Wally and walked through a tiny puddle and fell like ten thousand feet."  
Tash laughed and tapped her on the shoulder. "_I _got _eaten _by a book on modern warfare!"  
"Well," Karinda challenged. "I got swallowed into a picnic table. At school. Beat that."

Megan stepped forward quietly and coughed. All eyes turned to her. "Well. . ."

_Megan was starting to get hot, all the jumping around and screaming had exhausted her and her voice was starting to tear. It felt like a billion girls were around her, all screaming and shouting, and all wearing the same merchandise. _

_One Direction._

_She joined in with the chant that started to arise._

_"__One D! One D! One D!" It flooded out any other noise that could be heard. _

_A sudden cheer erupted when the four British boys + Niall sprang back onstage with a hearty._

_"__How're we going guys!?" Liam yelled into his mic. "We all enjoying the show?"_

_Everyone screamed their yesses, Megan joining in._

_Niall sunnily announced. "Well we hope you love the next one guys. KISS YOU!"_

_Another screaming wave hushed over the crowd as the opening tune to the song started. And that's when Megan noticed it. _

_There was a thing in her hand, a thing that was not there before. She raised her arm to see it and what was it she saw? _

_Garlic Bread._

_Megan had no idea how it got there but they were all friends there and, you know, __**Garlic Bread**__. So she took a bite. _

_And almost hurled. It was the most disgusting Garlic Bread she had ever eaten. Obviously not __**all **__of them were friends. She scowled at the offending bread and decided, What the hell? And hurled it onto the stage._

_And suddenly she was being sucked into a giant swirl of garlic and butter and bread, yelling as the portal ate up her legs, then stomach, then chest then head. _

_And all she could see and smell and taste was that horrible Garlic Bread._

_And then she knew no more._

Megan coughed after finishing her tale and looked up to see twelve faces gaping at her.

Sam choked out unbelievably. "I think Megan wins."

No doubt everyone agreed with slightly shaken nods.


	7. On a Serious Note

**CHAPTER SIX**

Merlin, the optimist he was, thought things were going fantastically. Considering the events that have occurred and he thought they could actually get through the whole shebang without any murder having transpired. That was, until _HE _arrived.  
Merlin wants this noted. He is a patient person and he is willing to forgive and forget but there are some people that he just can't stand and HE is one of them.

Hold on, he should probably explain.

Okay so just after everyone had told their tales of how they had arrived they all decided it was probably best (Dean and Sam were pissed that there were no 'compooters' or whatever). But they had just about to start reading when an obviously tired voice rounded the shelf of dusted books.

"Sherlock!" A short man growled. "Where the hell are we?"  
There was a tut and a bored voice in reply. "John. Obviously we have travelled somewhere back in time. Really, have I taught you nothing."  
There was and frustrated huff. "Sherlock, you are talking time-travel! It doesn't actually exist, or have you started to believe all of Mycroft's conspiracy theories."  
"Please John, do you count me stupid? No don't answer that, you know I'm not." There was a breath. "And time travel is perfectly logical as long as one has the right instruments."  
"Sher-"

He froze when they noticed the others in the room.

All eyes turned to the newcomers.  
"The hell are you?" Dean and Sam asked in unison.

"Who are they?" John asked and then noticed the look on Sherlock's face and immediately regretted it.  
"Well," Sherlock started with a smirk. "How about we start with the three obviously from America judging by their accents unless there are faking it which I highly doubt because in the business they work in, they have not needed to fake accents."

Everyone froze.

Sherlock continued. "The two flannelette wearing men are obviously well acquainted-most probably related closely judging by the unison talk and the fact the older one is sitting slightly in front of the other, obviously out of protection, whether or not it was intentional. Their line of work is obviously dangerous as they both carry multiple weapons on their bodies-you can tell by the changes in the line of their cloths around the lining of their jeans and the bulk in both jackets. Probably guns or knives. The older one-" He points to a frozen Dean. "-has spent most of his life looking after the younger one which can also be told by the way he is protective. A normal friend or brother wouldn't tend to that kind of reaction at the slightest hint of danger especially when both have proceeded their thirties. So what can we conclude from this? That obviously they were together for a long time, almost every second from a young age which begs the question why?"

Noticing the look on the American's faces, John guessed something huge was about to go down and he growled quietly. "Sherlock!"  
But Sherlock didn't listen the arrogant sod.

"Something must've happened when they were younger, something involving the parents. The father?" He judged their reaction. "Ahh, the mother then. Maybe she cheated on her husband maybe she die-"

And that's how far he got before Dean was up and punching the dick in the face. Sherlock stumbled back as the man stepped forward again and launched another punched, a raging fire in his green eyes.

It took three punches, two others holding him down and John drawing a gun to stop the man in his onslaught. His fists were bruised and he snarled as he glared at Sherlock's bleeding and bruised face.

"You fucking sonuvabitch. You must think you're so high and mighty with all of your smart-talk but really your just as stupid as anyone here." His voice was low, and dangerous. He was obviously not dealing with anybody's shit. "Don't you ever mention anything you have jst said or I will kill you."

Sherlock raised an eyebrow. "You sure? I don't think you have it in you?"

Dean grinned, it wasn't teasing or triumphant, it was just cold and menacing. It was terrifying. "And that's why you're as stupid as the rest of us. Dean Winchester, look me up."

And with that, he was storming out of the library, his whole body tense with thunderous rage. The men who had been holding him back gave John and Sherlock the filthiest looks and took after him.

There was a tense silence.

Kiara stepped forward in front of Sherlock, smiling at John and then sadly looking at Sherlock. "I love you Sherlock, like a ton, but that was a really dick move. Like that was horrible." She turned to John. "Please can you talk to him."

Brit came up behind her. "Those three guys have been through a helluva lot. Like they have saved the world, and in this universe or not they deserve everyone's respect."  
Olivia also stepped forward. "And we know you're you Sherlock and you gonna cock it up anyways but just please tone down the deductions. You will never be able to understand what they have been through."

They all turned pleading eyes on John. Kiara nodded. "Just talk to him."

John, understanding the urgency and sadness in the girl's eyes, and even though he had no idea who they were or what was going on, he decided to agree and do what they asked. "I'll try."

And he grabbed Sherlock's sleeve and pulled him out of sight.

The three girls turned to the rest of the group.

"Okay," Olivia sighed. "Let's get back to work!"

And just like that, Merlin knew he was going to have trouble with Sherlock. He was proved correctly when he came waltzing back in, not a care in the world but John was nodding behind his back in confirmation.

Merlin tentatively relaxed as they all set to work. Sherlock was still annoyingly smug but had dialled down and only spoke to his companion John. Merlin was quite glad for it.

Dean was pissed, Sam noted as he spied his brother sitting at the giant castle doors. His whole body tense with emotion. Scratch that, Dean was fucking raging. And Sam understood why. That great bag of dicks had just waltzed in the room and announced half of their lives, one of the most painful times of their lives. He didn't remember it, he was too young but Dean did. How could he forget? And after all this time and after all they've been through, Dean still hasn't tried to move on. Sam knows Dean is emotionally stunted to the point where it's _embarrassing_ but he also understands why. Dean doesn't do emotions and "feelings" because he knows that if he starts, he wouldn't be able to stop. If he begun ranting on and on about what is going on inside his head, Sam knew Dean would probably explode with all that's swirling in that head. But the bad side is that Dean will let almost anything get to him if it involves family. And he's not just counting him or Mom or Dad, but Bobby, Cas or Ellen and Jo. Anyone speaks a word against them, Dean Winchester will lose it because it's the only thing he has to keep him going.

Family is the only thing that keeps Dean going forward. The only thing keeping him from killing himself.

Sam may have some issues (okay so a lot of issues) but he knows Dean is worse. Dean has taken beating after beating from Dad, from Cas and the angels, even from Sam and it's worse because Dean had let that nestle into is skin. He had clung to a lost sense of worthlessness and depression and it's been growing and growing until Sam can see nothing but the strain and complete exhaustion in his brother's eyes.

Sam's terrified that soon, Dean will give up. That soon, Dean won't care anymore.

He dreads that day more than anything.

But for now he follows Cas and sits by his brother's side and hums in the comfortable silence.  
Dean huffs but croaks out. "I almost broke my hand on that guys fucking cheekbones."  
That startles a laugh out of Sam and he glances to his brother. "Well you punched him hard enough."  
Dean gritted his teeth and a muscle in his jaw twitched. "He was being a bitch. He deserved it."  
"We could always get Cas to smite him. Can't we Cas?" Sam grinned over to the angel.  
A small smile tugged at the end of his lips. "I am sure I could arrange something."

Dean chuckled and became serious for a moment. "You guys are awesome."

"And don't you forget it." Sam smiled.


End file.
